I had one of those days where nothing goes right. Forgot I had an early meeting, so not enough time for a run before work, then horrible traffic, people who missed meetings, rescheduled meetings, and so on all day at work. By the time I got out of there, I was stressed out, had a wicked headache, and was so tired. Got on the freeway to go home and, yep, more traffic. Rather unexpected at 6:30PM, it’s usually smooth sailing at that time of evening.
Slogged home, feeling sorry for myself most of the way. I was already thinking about blowing off the daily run and snuggling onto the couch with something sweet and chocolate. All I had to do was turn left as I got off the freeway and the grocery store was right there. I knew I was going to do it. I couldn’t resist. I deserved it, that was the refrain in my head.
I got to my off-ramp and realized I had a choice. I could go left, buy the chocolate stuff, and comfort myself for the crappy day. Or I could go right, go for a run, and have a dinner of crab meat and pasta.
This was it. The moment. I’ve read about it, that moment of awareness BEFORE you binge, before you blow it, before you make the emotional choice. But I never really felt it before. Today, I FELT IT. I had a choice at that traffic light: right or left. I could do the safe old thing or I could choose something different.
I chose right. I only ran a mile but it made me feel better. The crab/pasta dinner was better for me that a boatload of sweets. And now, I’m not beating myself up for not running and eating bad food. At the end of a crappy day, I made a choice that made me feel better. I turned the right corner.